Given the staggering divorce rates, one of the best things you can do to help save your marriage before it begins is Premarital Counselling. Couples that are involved in a specific church or those that want to be married within the walls of a church are often required by the minister or pastor to receive counselling before he or she agrees to officiate the ceremony. Those couples that are not religious may miss out on this procedure simply because it is not required. According to Psychology Today, studies suggest that couples that choose to receive counselling have lower divorce rates than those that do not.
Six Reasons Why You Should Consider Premarital Counselling:
1. Face Issues
Couples who attend premarital counselling have the opportunity to discuss issues that most couples argue about and most often lead to divorce or separation. Marriage counselling can help you address hot issues before they arise and assist you in discovering what the other person believes about the issue so that you may come to an agreement before you walk down the aisle. For example, you may discuss under what religion you will raise your future children or talk about what you will do if in-laws try to interfere. Having a plan of action on how you will handle serious issues can help you prevent altercations later. In counselling, you will also address the main issues that are currently affecting your relationship. Little problems can turn into major arguments if they are given a chance to fester. Counselling can help you work through any negative feelings before they turn into something bigger.
2. All Marriages Benefit
All couples can benefit from premarital counselling, even the ones that seem perfect on the outside. In reality, the perfect couples are probably the ones that have sought help from outside parties or modeled their behaviour toward one another from others who have been in successful relationships. No marriage will ever be perfect or problem-free, but premarital counselling can help you work through your difficulties and learn to keep your love alive even through adversities. Essentially, with counselling you will learn how to compromise and work with the other person to ensure happiness and longevity.
3. Effective Communication
One of the most important aspects of any marriage is effective communication. When a couple stops caring and stops talking to one another, the marriage will eventually fall apart. Premarital Counselling or Relationship Counselling can help you learn how to be a good listener, so you know what the other person wants and needs. When you live with someone day after day, it’s easy to take each other for granted, but by keeping an open line of communication and expressing love, you build a relationship that can withstand the test of time. Premarital Counselling helps couples learn to talk to one another and express feelings in a way that will not damage the relationship. You learn to hold your tongue when it’s appropriate and how to speak with honesty. It’s a good idea to sit down with one another and discuss what you want to achieve during the sessions, which is your first step toward effective communication.
4. Review Finances
Many individuals enter into marriage in debt because they financed a wedding that they really couldn’t afford. Counselling can help you create a budget, find out about the credit of the person you will marry, and discover any loans and outstanding balances the person may have. Ongoing financial problems can destroy even the healthiest of relationships, so it helps to sit down with a Premarital Counsellor and draw up a plan of action for how you handle your bank accounts and how you will handle paying for your responsibilities. Learning about your spouse’s spending habits before you say I do can help you avoid arguments about money in the future.
5. Discover Something New
Premarital Counselling sessions will give you the opportunity to discuss things that do not come up in normal conversations, such as hurtful past experiences, sex, and expectations. Too often, we think we know our spouse well, but we may not learn of past abuse or marriage expectations.
6. Divorce Prevention
One of the most important reasons to seek pre-marital counselling is divorce prevention. Studies show that couples that attend counselling sessions are 30% less likely to entertain the thought of divorce than those who do not. This lowers your risk of divorce to around 20%, which is why many churches and religious leaders encourage couples therapy. Premarital counselling will help increase your likelihood for happiness because you can identify your fears, values, beliefs, needs, and desires and learn how to communicate them to your partner. Premarital counselling will empower you with the tools you need to build trust for one another and the techniques you can adopt to support one another. With these statistics, it’s hard to see why someone would choose not to seek counselling before deciding to take that big step.
Here to Help
If you need help, call the Door of Hope Counselling Clinic in Port Coquitlam today at (604) 790-9032 or complete and send the Contact Form below. We’re here to help you start your journey of healing.